marvel reveals its movie slate for the next 5,000 years.

The powerhouse that is the MCU has released a new slate of upcoming films and the great grandchild of your great grandchildren are already talking about it on Twitter, 'cause your favorite Marvel characters will be reprising their roles for the next 5,000 years.

Disney announced last week that they've finally perfected the cryogenic techniques used to freeze Walt Disney's racist, fun-loving corpse in 1966 and will be cementing beloved actors like Tom Holland and Zoe Saldana in a cryo-tube for years at a time between film productions. The latest to put on the Spider-Man suit, Tom Holland, expressed excitement over his new contract between Sony and Marvel, saying "I'm really excited to continue to be a part of this amazing journey over the next five millennia. It'll be challenging waking up every few years still young and vibrant while my loved ones age, make families of their own, and die around me, but I'm happy to dedicate myself to such an inspiring character like Peter Parker and the insatiable hunger of Kevin Feige for those sweet Disney dollars." Spider-Man 2049, Spider-Man: Web Swingin' Orphan, and Spider-Man Homecoming Again and Again and Again and Again are just a few of the friendly neighborhood sequels on the slate.

Disney's state of the art technology has ensured safety as its main concern while putting its Marvel actors on ice, providing the talent with 24/7 support as they remain under. The cryogenic process has even been described as a dreamlike state where those who undergo the experience will be provided with intravenous feeding of Infinity War branded Coco Puffs, steroids to maintain peak physical condition, and pure in-house opium to numb the pain of pure isolation. While in the tube, they'll be occupied with in-cryo entertainment, playing a continuous loop of the highway fight scene between Captain America and the Winter Soldier, recurring updates of their personal checking accounts to remind them what they're fighting for, and an Audible recording of upcoming movie scripts so they can arrive fully prepared on set.

Zoe Saldana, who plays Gamora in the Guardians of the Galaxy series has already undergone an operation to permanently turn her skin green. "My kids were terrified of the new look, but when I promised them mommy would have enough money to have a man in a SpongeBob costume on retainer in their bedroom closet whenever they wanted to play, they were persuaded to accept the new look." Kevin Feige has also made the announcement that MCU favorites Chris Evans and Robert Downey Jr. will be reprising their roles as well but have declined the Disney cryogenic process due to the "love" that they have for their "friends" and "family". Downey will voice the infinity gauntlet in the 2042 sequel, Iron Man: Get Me Out Of This Glove, while Evans will appear in the 2072 film Captain America: Early Onset Arthritis.

Disney's dedication to its fans and their fans' wallets has garnered them a long history of success and they are committed to having another 5,000 years of consistent cash flow. And with an avid fan base that salivates with every new announcement at Comic Con, the reactions have been overwhelmingly positive as audiences have praised Marvel for giving future descendants the chance to experience the continuation of the same ten characters for the rest of their lives. So, without further ado, here's the full MCU line up for the next 50 decades.

Black Widow: Flying Scissor, Hidden Dragon -- November 17 , 2023

Captain Marvel and the Crystal Skrull -- May 25, 2038

Wolverine v. Black Panther: House of Malcolm X -- February 23, 2057

Captain America: Hydra Stole My Healthcare -- June 14, 2075

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 12: Super Cool Space Adventure -- August 12, 2085

The Incredible Hulk v. Climate Change: Hulk Smash, Hulk Go Green -- July 8, 2096

Doctor Strange: The Literal Gates of Hell -- May 29, 3014

X-Men: Phoenix Force: This Time It's Personal -- December 10, 3019

Thor: And The Hammer Goes Boom Boom -- April 14, 3027

Black Panther: Wakanda and the League of Gentrification -- February 26, 3044

Ant-Man, The Wasp, and a Cockroach the Size of the Empire State Building -- June 13, 3062

FF2: Mr. Stretchy, That One Translucent Chick, Burning Man, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson -- October 2, 3075

Avengers: Ultron Takes Manhattan -- May 9, 3088

Spider-Man: A Red and Green Goblin Christmas -- December 18, 4011

Loki: The Resurrection's Resurrection -- November 23, 4018

X-Men: Jean, Unleash Your Power! Let Go, Jean!! Jean, Let Go!!! -- August 5, 4034

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and Ever and Ever -- February 23, 4057

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 24: Rocket Meets A Real Raccoon -- April 12, 4099

It Wasn't Me, It Was The One-Armed Man: Who Framed The Winter Soldier? -- July 30, 5002

The Zombie Avengers -- May 15, 5010

Thor and the Asgardian Missile Crisis -- November 16, 5017

Deadpool: I Know Who Killed Me 30 Seconds Ago -- August 21, 5028

Black Panther and the Burning of the Midnight Vibranium -- March 11, 5030

X-Men: Jean Grey Straight Up Blows Up The X Mansion and Doesn't Even Apologize -- June 8, 5055

Doctor Strange: A Bad Batch of LSD -- November 6, 5062

A Rhino, A Lizard and a Man Made Out Of Sand: Spider-Man and the Sinister Six -- February 14, 5086

Iron Man: Rise of the Machines: Judgment Day -- July 24, 5091

An Avengers Wedding: Wanda & Vision Go to Hawaii -- May 22, 6000