cars 3 director cut owen wilson's brake lines to prepare him for his animated car performance.

Talk about a true auteur. Despite lukewarm reviews for the third installment of the franchise, Cars 3 Director Brian Fee seems to have been particularly dedicated to inspire Owen Wilson's return performance as Lightning McQueen -- by any means necessary.

In a Pixar movie targeted towards impressionable young children, an ever darker take about an apocalyptic world in which cars are sentient and humans are extinct seemed to be the next best step. "The performance of a down and out NASCAR anthropomorphic Corvette required something more gritty, more nuanced," said Director Fee. "And the last thing we wanted was for the performance to become stale." According to an LAPD officer, the director snuck onto Mr. Wilson's property early morning on September 8, 2017, tampering with the vehicle with a pair of zig zag scissors bought from a local JOANN's fabric store. The weapon in question, left at the scene next to the severed brake line, eventually implicated the director when the receipt to the arts and crafts store was found in his pet Chihuahua's fecal remains and forensically identified as a direct match.

Owen Wilson was rescued "jaws of life" style after he fishtailed at uncontrollable speeds and crashed into a nearby Whole Foods on his morning commute in downtown Los Angeles. The accident resulted in multiple reconstructive surgeries to the face, head, and nipples, a tragic accident that has been deemed a blessing by director Fee, who was amazed by Wilson's astounding portrayal. "He peeled the character of Lightning like an onion, tapping into completely new depths of the character that I had never seen before. The man had truly become machine."

Pixar executive Henry J. Waternoose had this to say about the incident -- "Somehow Brian knew that Owen's voicebox would miraculously come out unscathed, which is truly the genius of his work and a testament to his dedication to spectacular cinema. And despite having to eat hospital food through a straw, Owen was able to record the voice of Lightning McQueen with the performance of a lifetime." Although Wilson has yet to comment, there have been no charges filed against the director, because frankly, to lock up such a visionary director would be, in a word, impossible.