kate winslet loses fantastic beasts role after lying about being a gryffindor.

Burn her! Mrs. Kate "No Space On The Big Door" Winslet has betrayed fans yet again by making what could be the biggest mistake of her career -- lying about her Hogwarts house.

Only mere weeks after the "brave" and "honest" Gryffindor was casted in the upcoming Fantastic Beasts sequel, The Rise of Gribbly Vald, shocking footage uncovered this charlatan's deepest, darkest secret, CCTV cameras showing the Titanic actress prowling the streets of London in green -- and gold -- together!

Before she took a metaphorical dump in the proverbial Sorting Hat, it seemed like all the signs were there. Winslet was well known for being an advocate of the pure English bloodline, terrorizing Hollywood with her two bodyguards Bag and Boil, all the while threatening that if anyone dared to upset her, her wealthy father would, quote, "hear about this."

After the news broke, an anonymous report from the actress' agency Star Talent LLC has claimed she's been making quite a few phone calls about a preemptive Oscar campaign for her upcoming role in the Avatar sequel The Legend of Smurfy Hollow, displaying a suspicious amount of hubris and ambition for a "free loving Gryffindor." Looks like it's mischief managed for this big, fat liar, the only one not surprised by this treachery being Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling, who admitted she was already skeptical of Kate Winslet ever since she "detached poor old Jack's frozen fingers from that gigantic door as he sunk to the icy depths like the deranged psychopath she truly is."

"I knew something wasn't right when she showed up at The Rise of Gretel Ball table read," the author continued, reports from several witnesses stating how Winslet would randomly recite her lines in fluent Parseltongue. "It was the most frightening thing I've ever seen in my life," said Eddie Redmayne, the film's main star. Apparently the actress hissed out an entire page of the movie's script, all while pulling out a live mouse and swallowing it whole. "And on lunch break," he whispered, "I caught her licking an ice cream cone with that forked tongue of hers. Disgusting. The damn thing was peeking in and out like Whac-A-Mole."

Well, Expelliarmus to that. Thankfully, Harry Potter heads everywhere are relieved that this vile piece of Slytherin scum has been exposed and officially banned from production. J.K. Rowling has already assured fans that Winslet has been swiftly recast by Black Panther's Letitia Wright to play a singing frog that's also a Portkey in The Rise of Gregory Wald, coming to theaters November 2020.