justice league cast fired, andy serkis recast in every role.

With another box-office flop on the DC belt, Warner Brothers is officially changing their tune on the DCEU cast lineup, as they have officially announced that the Justice League team has been disbanded and CGI king Andy Serkis will be taking up the mantle of all six superheroes.

That's right, folks. Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Ezra Miller, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher and even fan favorite Gal Gadot will no longer be cashing any ginormous million dollar checks, as they have been fired over text last Thursday. "It's time for something new," Zack Snyder said in a Vero press conference, "And we've all decided down at the studio that CGI is its own character in the DCEU and the true hero of our films. And with budgets only increasing to compete with Marvel's hundred million dollar expenses, we figured if we can't get into the pockets of our fans, we'll cut costs at home." Andy Serkis is elated to take on the cast of beloved characters, saying "I'm most excited to play Batman, as Zack has promised I could go as grimy, wrinkly, and mentally disturbed as I'd like, which is exactly my wheelhouse."

And like a disturbing human Rubik's cube, Serkis has requested to wear each hero's signature costume feature on his person, demanding a Flash leg, a Cyborg shoe, an Aquaman dirty blonde beach wig, a Batman six pack, and Wonder Woman's gorgeous gold tiara. His ambition for the new Justice League film went even further when news broke that he would also be playing some classic DC villains, including Lobo, Martian Manhunter, and Poison Ivy. Inspired by that one viral clip of Mowgli on a green screen talking to Jon Favreau in a tennis ball suit, Zack Snyder has fully embraced the idea of only having to direct one, single actor in an empty, air-conditioned room. And who could blame him?

It seems that DC is determined to cut corners in the budget department in order to fund even more miscast Lex Luthors, jarring color correction, and an Aquaman that's 75% Will Smith "Woo!" and 25% McConaughey "All right, all right, all right..." Hopefully Serkis will bring his charming gravitas and acting prowess to do an intense juggling act of characters not since attempted since Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor. We wish you luck, Andy.